What is self-love and how does journaling factor in? In this post I’ll give you an overview of my personal definition of self-love, address a few common myths, share some daily practices and provide journaling prompts to get you started writing your way towards self-acceptance, self-respect, self-care and self-compassion.
Defining self-love
Let’s first get a basic definition of self-love going. Self love has many components. Each person you ask may describe it differently. Here are my pillars of self-love: acceptance, respect, care and compassion.
In the field of body image work, I always emphasize that the goal is not to flip a switch and expect to love your appearance overnight. We start by simply working on accepting our body. We stop trying to manipulate it. Then we work on respect, then caring for our body and so on.
Self-love goes way beyond body image. Self-love is about self-worth and self-esteem. It’s about the deeper parts of us, not just physical appearance.
I define self-love like this: accepting, respecting, caring for and having compassion for oneself, including the inner spirit and outer, physical presentation in the world.
Common myths about self-love
It’s selfish
Some people disregard self-love, believing that it is selfish or arrogant. For those working on practicing humility, servant-heartedness or modesty, I understand the difficulty of embracing an ideal that promotes loving oneself.
I address it this way: if you aim to love your neighbor as yourself, how will you know what it means to appreciate, respect and care for a person if you don’t start with you?
And just like the airplane safety briefing says, you’ve got to put on your own oxygen mask before you assist others. You will be so much better prepared to pour out love and kindness on those around you if you start from a place of peace, confidence, respect and compassion for your imperfect self.
It glorifies physical appearance
The physical body is only a small fraction of self-love. And love may be the word used, but as we previously defined, acceptance, care and respect are the essential components. Self-love doesn’t mean boasting about how great looking you believe you are. It’s about embracing who you are, exactly as you are, and promoting the idea that any and every individual, in any and every kind of body deserves care and kindness and is worthy of love.
Daily practices
Here are a few things you can do to work on your own self-love.
Daily affirmations help you speak positive, encouraging truth over yourself, even when you don’t spontaneously feel like it. If it feels weird to say these out loud, journaling can be a great way to “speak” these into existence.
Meditations or mindfulness practices help ground yourself in brief, quiet moments. We live in an insanely fast-paced world where you may never take the time to act lovingly towards yourself unless you carve out the time for it.
Setting boundaries is a very practical and actionable way you can act in self-love. If you have people, habits or commitments that take advantage of you, put you down, or don’t acknowledge your innate worth, you can work towards limiting the access they have to your time and energy.
Self-love journal prompts
It might feel silly to talk out loud to yourself as you process and practice acknowledging your self-worth, so a journal can give those words a safe place to land.
Here are ten self-love journal prompts to get you started.
- What would my closest friend or family member say are the best traits about me?
- How do I feel when I take care of myself?
- What are my strengths?
- Describe a time when I felt truly at peace with myself.
- What negative beliefs do I hold about myself?
- What recurring thoughts from your inner voice hold you back?
- Write a love letter to your younger self.
- Create your own personal mantra that you can use as a daily reminder and affirmation.
- Write about progress you’ve made in your own life.
- Name three flaws that you accept about yourself.
Wishing you peace and progress on your journey to self-love!
